Apollo's Hot News - The Olympian Official Newspaper!
by FanFiction'BoutPJIsLife
Summary: Apollo is writing a newspaper... But after finding a new idea, I decided to show what he writes on Olympus. Without him knowing! But Apollo's newspaper is just... hilarious! Rated T to be safe (because there are Ares, Aphrodite, we might not know what is happening!). And of course, be careful not to die because Apollo's writing is a parody!
1. Prologue

_Welcome to my story, Apollo's Hot News!_

 ** _First thing:_** This disclaimer lasts for all the story. Anything you recognize: not mine, okay?

I think you did read the summary and it's why you're here.

This story will be a little special for me: I'll try to involve you more than other "basic" stories.

I'll try to upload once in a week (if I can! Don't kill me if I didn't update). You can suggest things in the review section, of course.

But about that involving thing. Well, each week I'll do a poll, so don't forget to check it everytime after the story! There will be a reference in the story, a character will want to make an appearance "next time". So I did a blind poll (I want you to judge by yourself, be honest) with three choices: one that basically says yes, one that is not yes not no, one that says no. You'll have to vote for one of them (I'm not sure if you can vote without an acc, but try nonetheless!), if you want me to see your position on the question.

For the French speakers right here, you can review in french, no problem, it's my real language.

I just hope that that didn't scare you, dear readers! c;

And other things now:

Credits to Purple Cow1111111 for his story Olympus Weekly that gave me the inspiration I needed to do this. His story is a really good one, go check it you won't be deceived! c; This is one of my first stories in english ever so yeah I'm not really acknowledged about how to write.

I think I'll make you suggest a song that I could hear to have the inspiration I need.

Little hint: I'll maybe listen to it first if it's by Thirty Seconds To Mars (I love that band since one year or so and I'm listening to their songs while writing. It matches a lot the Percy Jackson series, so it inspires me. And I have a thing for war or battle in songs.)

Sorry if the poems below the titles doesn't rhythm. I'm a beginner in this one, and I want to describe what will be happening in the chapter so it might not be perfect. But, we're talking about Apollo, and I wanted a perpetual reference to him.

* * *

 _Ask the Gods – 1 st act_

 _Prologue:_

 _I need a little inspiration,_

 _Please gods help me,_

 _Oh, please ask a question_

 _And the gods will answer it_

* * *

Apollo was having a bad day.

He had a major problem.

A problem that could make him lose the opportunity to do weekly bets with Hermes.

His newpaper was.. So old. He had to get a new concept.

It was not selling anymore. People got bored.

He decided to go and visit the mortal world to see more of their newspapers (and get ideas!).

* * *

Nothing. That was disappointing.

There was nothing new. Every newspaper had the same things. Gossips, fashion advices but nothing interesting.

But…

Seeing the last one, Apollo had a little hope.

It seemed to be original.

On the front, there were readers' questions… And below there were the answers…

Apollo took notes of the name of the newspaper. Finally, something interesting.

There were, too, little messages to some people, like proposals and excuses.

And when Apollo decided to include his discoveries in the newspaper, he decided that , finally, the other gods could help him run the affair. (And make his "customers" smile!)

* * *

 _Written with:_ Vox Populi – 30 Seconds To Mars

So, yeah, basically, you can tell me what you think of my writing skills. I know, it is a lot shorter than that you thought (maybe) but it is the basics of the story!

 _ **650 words**_

 _ **Edited the 18.01.17**_


	2. 1: High heels, babysitting and bets

_A/N: I'm updating this after the prologue. I'd feel bad if I didn't at least do this chapter. Well, go on! Read my dear! And please tell me if you died of laughter! I'd like you to, because this is the purpose of this story._

 _I hope you read the little poems at the beginning, they're a little summary of everything that happens in the chapter. At least, this one rythmes!_

* * *

 ** _Ask the Gods: 1st act_**

 ** _Chapter 1: Interviews, high heels and babysitting_**

 _Athena is interviewed,_

 _Hades's asking for a babysitter,_

 _Percabeth is hated,_

 _And Hephaestus's going mad at his brother._

* * *

Apollo was writing, as usual. As the god of Arts he could do some good writing. There wasn't just Athena that could do that!

Speaking of her, she wanted to ask a question in the newspaper.

All the Olympians wanted. Even Hades had a little message (he was seriously wondering if it was a prank, but Hermes told him that Nico had given the paper to him in his father's name. Well).

But, two hours later, he had done the first edition.

And gods, it was hilarious…

* * *

 ** _Apollo's hot News: The weekly edition._**

 _New feature this week: see all the questions and little messages of the gods for each other!_

* * *

This week, we went to interview Athena, while she was writing in a mysterious book! Well, it didn't happen like we expected it to but, we did it for you dear readers!

Now, time to see what Athena hides!

 _Hermes:_ Hello Athena. Hey nice book… What are you writing?

 _Athena:_ Hermes stay away from that. And, why are you taking notes of everything I say?

 _H._ : Readers of _Apollo Hot News_ want some news from you, and I lost a bet with Apollo.

 _A._ : Hermes, you do know that it isn't wise to bet with Apollo now? He is three thousand years old. He's not a child anymore.

 _H._ : But I was so sure the Eiffel Tower was single!

 _A._ : Wait what?! Anyways, you'll tell me after this. So what do you want to know about?

 _H._ : Do you have any projects? I mean… Do you have any ideas of something that Hephaestus would like to build?

 _A._ : Well, no. My inspiration is running low. It is disastrous, especially that I don't want to stay in the shadows for more time.

 _H._ : And do you still disapprove of the Percabeth shipping?

 _A._ : The what?

 _H._ : Percy and Annabeth being to…

 _A._ : *getting really mad* : DON'T. YOU. DARE.

 _H._ : Ok, ok, I note, you still disapprove.

 _A._ : *mumbles* This stupid, oblivious Barnacle Brains' son being with my adorable, intelligent daughter…

 _H._ : Interesting… *notes everything Athena says*

 _A._ : Hey! *books falls, showing doodles of what seems to be Percy, with hearts and…her?*

 _H._ : This, is really interesting. *notes it down and runs for his life*

 _A._ : Hermes, you're so going down! *chases him*

Fortunately, I survived to tell you all of this, my dear readers! I love you all!

-Hermes

* * *

Next, we asked the gods to tell us some of the most embarassing things they had seen.

For this one, we went to interview Hephaestus… It happened. Well. I think.

 _Apollo:_ Hello brother! I'm here to…

 _Hephaestus_ : It's for your newspaper?

 _A._ : You understood it all. The subject of our article is "tell us the most embarassing thing you saw (the most embarassing thing but something that children can read!)"

 _H._ : Well, there was that time. I saw Hermes one day, flirting with a nymph. So, I followed him, and then they went to a restaurant. I went into the restaurant too. But then I remembered that he didn't seem really himself. In fact, it was a bet from Aphrodite, but I didn't know that. So, well, I saw them kiss, and then a girl asked me: "For the twentiest time, can you please tell me what you want?!"

I was so embarassed. So, I told the waitress that I didn't want anything, and she then suggested that I tried to find love instead of staring at them like that. I swear, I could feel my cheeks burning!

 _A._ : I know how it feels! Dear bro, you're in that club now!

 _H._ : And then, just as I made a move to exit the restaurant, someone (a mortal woman) walked on my feet. With high heels.

 _A._ : Ouch. I feel bad for you bro.

 _H._ : Thank you, because it hurts like Hades! *thunder rumbling* Sorry Uncle! Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, she was in high-heeled shoes. And well, I literally just jumped three feet in the air and screamed! A very manly scream, irony is dripping out of my words.

 _A._ : You're welcolme bro. Wait, what? You know irony?

 _H._ : You're more surprised that I know irony than that I screamed and jumped high?

 _A._ : But I didn't expect that!

 _H._ : Apollo… You're acting childlish right now!

 _A._ : But, what?

 _H._ : And oblivious.

 _A._ : I don't under…

 _H._ : DROP THE ACT APOLLO! *screams*

 _A._ : Ok, bye bro! *runs*

And this is how it ended. I still don't know what he was talking about. I'll be asking Athena about this some time.

-Apollo

* * *

And now, the little announces and questions.

Let's see what our favorite relatives asked us!

 _Question 1: How did you get this inspiration Apollo? I need some._

 _-Athena_

Well, Athena, that's simple. I visited the mortal world and searched for myself.

 _Question 2: Dear nephew, can I have the next interview? Because it's bugging me that Athena will be talking in this edition, I need to talk in the next one! Exprim myself!_

 _-Poseidon_

We'll see, Uncle P. We can let the readers decide if they want it or not!

 _Question 3: Why, on Tartarus, is everyone cursing by my name? I mean, I want some respect!_

 _-Hades_

Well, Uncle H, let's all swear by Uncle P's name. We'll see if he protests, and if he does within the 24h after the publication of this, we'll say sorry next time.

 _Question 4 :Why am I always the humiliated one?_

 _-Hephaestus_

Let's just say that we make fun of everyone once in a while but you don't know about it.

* * *

 _And, now, the announces!_

 **I search inspiration for my potions! Please! Be pitiful of a poor deity like me! –Hecate**

/\

 **I'm currently searching someone to make sure Nico or Hazel is alright. I can't check on them everytime I'd want to and I need someone to do that job for me. Contact me by I.M if you want to talk about the job with me. –Hades**

/\

 **Athena, please stop telling me that you're better. I'm better than you, you're so confident but I'm always better. –Ares**

/\

 **Percy, I love you son (even if you're dating Annabeth) –Poseidon**

/\

 **Annabeth, please stop dating this sea spawn, I mean, you can do much better than that! And he hates owls! AND NO, I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM –Athena**

/\

 **I SHIP PERCABEEEEEEEETH! AND FRAZEL AND SOLANGELO AND JASPER AND TRATIE AND… EVERY COUPLE IN CAMP! I love you so much –Aphrodite**

* * *

And it's the end of **_Apollo's Hot News_**! Stay tuned for another weekly publication!

 _-Apollo_

* * *

I know, this wasn't fabulous, but, to be honest... I'm fine with it. I think, that the high heels thingy is hilarious, even if yeah, a friend told me that it hurts like Tartarus to see that someone walked on your feet with high-heeled shoes.

The Eiffel Tower story is true, you can search on the net. I think. But anyways, let's pretend it's real.

DON'T FORGET THE POLL!

 _Written with:_ Vox Populi, Do or Die by 30 Seconds To Mars

Yours in demigodishness,

-FF

* * *

 **1342 words.**


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